My Hero, My Son…

‘Listen to the mustn’ts, child. Listen to the don’ts. Listen to the shouldn’ts, the impossibles, the won’ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me… Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.’  -Shel Silverstein

I will start this post off by saying… PLEASE KEEP READING and I don’t normally share my personal life on my business page unless we are celebrating milestones.  But I felt it necessary to share this with you all, because for me this is a milestone in my life.  A huge one at that.  I titled this post “My Hero, My Son”… To state the obvious I am saying that my hero is my son, Logan.  Logan is eight years old and has taught me things about life that I don’t think, no! I KNOW that I couldn’t have learned without him.  Logan you see is a little ‘different’ than what some call ‘average.’  (To me, Logan is just the way he’s supposed to be).  You see… Logan had several strokes in utero, yes you read that correctly, strokes.  I’ll say it one more time… Logan had several strokes in utero  (inside my stomach).  Even as I type that out, there’s still a bit of a sting to it.  Never in a million years did I expect that,  No one plans for their child to have disabilities… In fact, I wasn’t even aware that it was possible for a child to have a stroke until… BAM!  It happened!  Logan had several strokes due to a clotting disorder I have, that I wasn’t aware of until after my second child actually, his sister Alyssa. (she also had three minor strokes in utero that have had ZERO residual side effects YAY!)  Though my third did not have any after discovering that I should be on blood thinners.  Anyways, Logan has Cerebral Palsy, Epilepsy, Autism, ADHD, Behavioral Disabilities, Cognitive Delays etc..  These are all due to his strokes.  This is a lot to swallow.   Logan continues to amaze me every single day, the love he has for others is astonishing.  Logan runs, talks, plays, talks back… etc.. I’ve decided to write this because recently Logan had a doctors appointment with his Physical Medicine doctor, just one of the many he sees, who informed me that he will need to have a very extensive surgery…. A surgery that wasn’t planned.  This surgery is on his right leg to lengthen it and to give him more strength.  They will have to break Logan’s leg and put screws and plates in it to lengthen it and they will need to replace several tendons… I found out just a couple of weeks ago and his surgery is scheduled for the 30th.  Let’s just say it’s been a whirlwind.  Logan won’t be able to walk for four weeks and he will be in quite a bit of pain.  However, this will help Logan’s quality of life in the long run, it will prevent him from needing to be in a wheelchair.  And for anyone who hasn’t met Logan, welp there’s NO way he could stay in a wheelchair.  I write all of this to say that since finding out about his surgery, Logan was there too and knows, he has had a very hard time.  (He frequently has a hard time digesting news about appointments or hard things as it’s hard for him to understand)  He is in SO much fear.  He does not want a cast, shots, surgery, pain etc..  Who would want that though,  right?  This fear is effecting everything.  Which I know is a normal reaction, but as a mother it is terrifying, sad and heart wrenching.  I am also scared for Logan, for this surgery, for what life holds for him in the future (though I know it has to be great).  But I am beyond proud of him.  Logan only knows life as he knows it.  He was born a fighter.  Logan continues to walk through things that most people won’t ever have to walk through on a daily basis, with strength, courage, love and laughter.  Logan doesn’t know this yet, or isn’t aware of it yet, but he faces so many challenges head on every single day!  Logan has defied so many odds, the doctors didn’t think he’d survive at first.  And certainly didn’t think he would walk or talk.  (And trust this kid can run!  AND TALK FOR DAYS!! 🙂 )  My life has been forever changed.  And I wouldn’t have it any other way.  Logan has taught me patience, kindness, understanding, love.  He has also taught me to care for others in a way I didn’t know was possible, he has taught me to never judge a book by it’s cover.  Because guess what, I am that mom with the eight year old boy throwing a tantrum, hitting and biting me, and screaming in the middle of target or in the kiss and ride lane, while I’m holding my infant and my six year old is holding my hand, I am that mom who cries in the shower on occasion because I am praying that my son never feels different or not a part of,  I am that mom who has to always be hovering to keep an eye on their child.  I am that mom who wishes that instead of being judged, it’d be SO nice for someone to offer to help.  Logan has taught me that disabilities doesn’t mean weird, or odd or bad.  He’s taught me to love people for who they are and that each and everyone of us has a purpose here.  He’s taught me that a small gesture can go such a long way.  He’s taught me that you don’t ever know what another person is going through just by looking at them.  So, Logan may be ‘different’ in your eyes, or ‘disabled’ , or not ‘average’.  But this kid, this kid is perfect in mine.  He is strong, courageous, kind, smart, funny, loving, intelligent, sensitive, out going, spunky, talented, graceful and simply amazing.   Yes, Logan has Cerebral Palsy, Epilepsy, Autism, ADHD, Behavioral Challenges, Cognitive Delays, etc., but Logan is the definition of a her0- a man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities.   

Logan, Mommy loves you more than I can even come close to putting into words.  I am so proud of you and the little man you are becoming and will do everything in my power to show you how much of a hero you are.  I am forever grateful for you, all of you.  I am so blessed to get to have you call me mommy.  I love you, bud. 

Part of my reasoning in writing this is to also raise awareness of intra uterine strokes, and pediatric strokes.  Not just strokes, but also cerebral palsy, epilepsy, autism, adhd etc.. Please, please, please feel free to share this link.  March is Cerebral Palsy Awareness Month and Brain Injury Awareness Month (Strokes are considered brain Injuries), May is Pediatric Stroke Awareness Month and I will be doing a fundraiser… Pediatric Strokes remain one of the top 10 causes of death in children,  so PLEASE  share and help raise awareness and know the signs.  P.s.- Logi doesn’t like to take photos much anymore, but being a photographer I had to try to get just a few!  :).  (